Membership And Getting Started
You have the option of two membership tiers that include different features and prices. With the Basic Connect plan, you can message other members, see your profile views, and perform local searches.
- 1 month: $29.95
- 6 months: $89.70
- 12 months: $131.40
The Safe Connect plan includes all of the Basic Connect features plus private video chat, call, and text.
- 1 month: $45.95
- 12 months: $215.40
- 24 months: $262.80
When you create an account, youll create a username and password and enter some basic information to build a profile. Youll also provide and verify your email address and mobile phone number. Next, provide more specific info about your lifestyle, appearance, values, and habits.
There are many different types of searches you can perform from your profile homepage. You can perform a quick or advanced search using various preferences, like gender, age, location, ethnicity, religion, body type, etc. You can also perform a living with search to view only members with herpes.
Your profile sidebar provides quick access to other site areas and helps you organize your matches and messages. You can:
- Send and receive messages
- Access account settings
You also have control over your personal info. Find a quick exit button at the bottom of each page for discreet browsing. In the Account & Settings tab, you can edit your personal information, including your email address and password, or permanently delete your account.
The Right Person Wont Reject You
The truth is, some people will reject you when they find out you have herpes. To quote a herpes support forum poster, dating with herpes can be stressful. However, if you do these things, then being diagnosed with herpes is not the end of the world:
- Talk about your diagnosis early
- Have information handy so that you can talk honestly about the actual risks and concerns of the disease
- Be willing to do what you can to reduce the chance you will spread herpes to your partner
Numerous people with genital and oral herpes are open about disclosing their condition. Most of them have active, happy dating and sexual lives. The truth is, its so hard to meet the right person that dating with herpes makes it only the tiniest bit harder. Life after herpes doesnt mean life without love.
How To Talk To Partners About Your Herpes Diagnosis
Telling a partner or potential partner that you have herpes can be nerve-wracking, but its best to do early on so you can weed out people who have a problem with it, says Stephen Snyder, M.D., sex therapist and author of Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship. You need and deserve the acceptance that only someone who’s truly comfortable with it can give. So, best to advise a potential partner of your herpes status before you fall in love with them, he says. Also, best to tell them before too many articles of clothing get removed. After all, you don’t want anyone to feel pressured or uncomfortable.
Some people may even mention that they have herpes in their online dating profile to weed out people who are uncomfortable with it right away.
That said, you dont need to tell all your dates about your STI status immediately, if thats stressful for you. Snyder recommends bringing it up by the second or third date, or whenever sex is on the table.
Its helpful to provide a prospective partner with as many details as possible, including how often you have outbreaks, what you do for treatment or prevention, and what your preferences are regarding barriers, says Snyder. Have a starter script prepared. Something like, I need you to know: I have the virus that causes genital herpes.”
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Example Disclosure Of Diagnosis
I like how things are going in our relationship, and Im hoping well end up in bed sometime soon. Before we do, I wanted to let you know that I have genital herpes. I take suppressive therapy and havent had an outbreak in a while, so the risk of passing it to you is low.
Still, its not zero, so I wanted you to have a chance to think about it before we get intimate. You dont need to respond right now. When, and if, youre ready, Im happy to talk with you more or to just send you some information.
Exclusively Herpes Dating Sites From Positivesingles
If you prefer a dating site that focuses only on herpes-positive daters, you can check out H Date. Its run by PositiveSingles, costs the same, and has the same amenities and dating pool. Meanwhile, Meet People With Herpes is yet another herpes dating site run by SuccessfulMatch, the parent company of you guessed it PositiveSingles. Neither of these herpes dating sites made our top recommendations in this guide, but feel free to take a look if you want a more herpes-specific experience.
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How Do You Tell Someone You Have Herpes
The hardest part of telling your partner may be deciding how to broach the subject. The specific words and phrases you use will depend on what kind of relationship you’re building. In general, though, don’t stress too much about having herpes. Your partner may even divulge that they also have herpes. And if they have the same type of the virus as you, they can’t get “reinfected,” Dr. Baldwin stated.
You could start the conversation by mentioning cold sores, then move into the subject of herpes. You could also start by saying you want to be honest in the relationship or that you want to discuss safe sex. “It can be a very difficult conversation to have, but you should be honest and straightforward,” Dr. Baldwin recommended.
Send The Message Before You Have Sex
The conversation needs to happen before having sex and hopefully not in the heat of the moment. Alexandra Harbushka, founder of Life With Herpes and spokesperson for Meet People With Herpes, says a great way to lead with the topic is talking about both parties sexual health, and insisting that you both get tested.
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Putting Herpes In Perspective
Right now, theres no cure for herpes. This means that if you contract HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus will remain in your body for the rest of your life, or until a cure is discovered.
Finding this out can be devastating news, especially from the perspective of your dating and romantic life. After all, you have an incurable, lifelong virus that spreads through either oral or sexual contacttwo things that, last we checked, are pretty important in every romantic relationship.
The reality is that dating with herpes probably isnt as difficult as you think it is. Every day, millions of people around the world are completely able to have normal, healthy relationships in spite of their HSV-1 or HSV-2 status.
One easy way to put the herpes virus in context is through statistics. According to the Centers for Disease Control , nearly 50 percent of people ages 14 to 49 in the U.S. have HSV-1, and roughly 12 percent of the same age group have HSV-2.
The point is, its a very common virus, and theres nothing bad, unclean or unsafe about you if youre infected.
Avoid Withdrawing From Your Partner
A sudden outbreak can be disappointing, especially if you were looking forward to an intimate evening.
But its important to remember that your worth isnt tied to your diagnosis. Youre still the same person, outbreak or not.
If you dont truly believe this, your words might reflect your self-judgment, and you might end up pulling away or conveying the message you do have something to feel embarrassed about .
Instead of saying something like:
- We cant have sex tonight I understand if you dont want to come over after all.
Try something like:
- Tonights a no-go for sex, so lets cuddle up with a horror movie.
The second validates the reality that you still have a lot to offer in the way of companionship. And dont forget, a hot makeout session can be pretty sexy. Think of the tension youll build up!
Sex is an important component in many romantic relationships, but it shouldnt be the only thing keeping your relationship going.
To help your relationship thrive, practice connecting with your partner in other ways.
You might try:
- sharing goals for the future
- simply existing in the same space
Experts agree this simply isnt true. The virus doesnt live long once outside the body, so the risk of transmission is very low in these scenarios.
Soap and water kills the virus, so if you touch sores to apply medication, all you have to do is wash your hands thoroughly afterward.
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Other Herpes Dating Apps
While weve listed our favorites at the top, we do want to make sure were giving you the most complete picture of what the market looks like. And that means sharing a few of the other options that are out there. Some of these are what we could classify as hot garbage and some are actually on the right track, but too new and too small to be worth your time.
Here are a few more options out there.
Best Herpes Dating Sites And Apps For Std Singles
Dating can be difficult, and approaching it while carrying an STI further complicates it. Sooner or later, you’ll have to reveal your status. The thought of letting someone in on something so sensitive, let alone something that comes with a backstory, is troubling.
Even though we have access to a wealth of information, many people are still unaware of herpes. People unfamiliar with the virus may think it’s a no-brainer to avoid dating someone who has it, but there’s more to it than that.
Herpes simplex virus-infected people are capable of forming healthy and safe romantic relationships. Yet, it can be challenging to communicate this to a negative partner. Often, the people who understand this best are other herpes-positive singles. So, these are the ones you should look to date.
If you have the virus or know how to act in a relationship with a person who does, you can meet people with herpes on one of these dating sites and apps.
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Take Steps To Reduce Your Transmission Risk
If you have genital herpes and your partner doesnt, you can take several steps to reduce your level of viral shedding and lower your transmission risk:
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Talk to your doctor about using antiviral medication like valacyclovir. Taken regularly at a suppressive therapy dose, valacyclovir greatly reduces your risk of transmitting genital herpes to other people.
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Use condoms, dental dams and other barrier contraceptives. While contraceptives arent 100% effective at preventing herpes transmission, physical barriers like condoms reduce the amount of direct skin contact that occurs during sex, lowering your transmission risk.
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Having an outbreak? Its best to avoid sex during herpes outbreaks, as this is when the virus is most likely to spread to other people.
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Take your HSV-1 or HSV-2 transmission risk seriously. Even with the tactics listed above, theres still some risk of you transmitting herpes to your partner. Before you have sex, its important that youre both aware of and willing to accept this risk.
With the right approach, you can significantly reduce your risk of transmitting genital herpes to other people, making it easier for you to enjoy a normal sex life even after learning about your herpes status. Whether you have herpes, or whether you’re contemplating dating someone with HSV-1 or HSV-2, it is possible and you can do it if you take the right precautions and accept the small risks.
How To Successfully Date On The Herpes Dating Site
For herpes singles, the chances of finding true love on countless popular dating sites are very small. Herpes dating sites can easily solve this problem. People who have the same experience on herpes dating sites can understand and tolerate you. Whether you want to make friends, connect with people, dating and long-term relationships, these can be achieved quickly. Why does someone who succeeds on a dating site fail and someone who fails? The best option for herpes patients is to date on an STD dating site or a herpes dating site where a large single community can easily start their own date.
Here are some tips on successful dating on the herpes dating website, hoping to bring you a great experience and experience:
If you are herpes single now, there is nothing better for you than a herpes dating site. It allows you to meet more new friends, suggest relationships and appointments. Try to sign up and get you started quickly with the online matching feature on the website. what are you waiting for? Sign up to create your profile and start today’s herpes dating!
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What Are Signs And Symptoms Of Herpes
There are two types of HSV:
Symptoms develop 2-20 days after the initial exposure to HSV. Initial signs may include:
- Itching, burning, pain, or tingling around the mouth or genitals
- Sores or blisters around the mouth or genitals
Other signs and symptoms may include:
Be Upfront Well Before You Have Sex
One of the hardest things about dating with herpes is deciding when to disclose your diagnosis to your partner. Although I generally try not to speak in absolutes, it is always a better idea to do so before you have sex. That way, your partner can make an informed choice about what risks they are and are not comfortable taking.
If you wait to tell your partner that you have herpes until after youve had sex, the revelation may feel like a betrayal. You will have denied them the opportunity to make an informed decision about risk. You may also have implied that your herpes diagnosis is more important than the other things they find attractive about you.
If someone is really interested in you before you tell them you have herpes, they probably will be afterward as well. It just helps to tell them early. That makes it less likely that theyll feel exposed and/or betrayed.
How early? You dont have to do it on the first date. The timing really depends on the people involved. If youre worried about how your partner might react, talk to them about it in a safe place.
You could bring it up over dinner when youre getting near the going home together phase. Or you could have the talk while youre out for a walk, and perhaps a make-out session.
When you do have the talk, its best to be straightforward about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
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Should You Tell A Partner You Have Herpes
Disclose your HSV status to anyone you’re getting involved with. “I encourage everyone to share their diagnosis with their partners so that everyone can make the healthiest decisions for themselves,” Dr. Baldwin said.
You should also inform your partner about your herpes status for legal reasons. “There are so many lawsuits of people suing someone else for giving them herpes,” said Terri Warren, ANP, a nurse practitioner at Westover Heights Clinic and spokesperson for the American Sexual Health Association. By not telling your partner you have herpes, they lack the information needed to protect their health.
Disclose Over Text Message
If the idea of talking about sexual health in person stresses you out, you can have these conversations over text. Texting allows you to set a comfortable and warm tone when you disclose your STI, as well as to revise your delivery until you know exactly how much you want to share. You have the option to send links to resources where they can learn more about your STI, such as Planned Parenthoods website.
An upside of texting about sexual health is that it gives both of you the freedom to react to the conversation in privateand them the ability to do their own research before responding. When you talk about your status via text, you offer the person youre disclosing to the safety of space, says Courtney Brame, the founder of Something Positive for Positive People, a mental health nonprofit. They can have their visceral response, think about how they want to respond, and do so objectively without any internalized stigma being projected onto you.
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Reduce The Risk Sex Will Spread Herpes
One of the things that scares people when theyre thinking about dating with herpes is the risk for potential partners. Theyre concerned about the possibility that they might spread herpes to someone they care about. This is a legitimate concern.
Fortunately, there are ways to reduce the likelihood you will spread herpes during sex. Suppressive therapy, for example, can lower the risk of transmission significantly. Its not just good for reducing the number and severity of outbreaks.
Using condoms consistently, even for oral sex, can also make a big difference in your partners risk. Condoms and dental dams dont just make intercourse safer. They also make it less likely for you to spread herpes from your genitals to their mouth, and vice versa. Practicing safe sex is always a good choice.