Monday, April 15, 2024

How To Tell People You Have Herpes

Can Genital Herpes Be Treated

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Your physician can prescribe different medications to help reduce your symptoms and speed up the healing of an outbreak. These medicines work best when you start them soon after an outbreak occurs.

To reduce pain during an outbreak:

  • Sit in warm water in a portable bath or bathtub for about 20 minutes. Avoid bubble baths.
  • Keep your genital area clean and dry, and avoid tight clothes.
  • Take over-the-counter medications, such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Avoid aspirin.

Let your physician know if you are worried about your genital herpes. He or she can recommend a support group to help you cope with the virus.

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How To Tell If Its A Yeast Infection Or Herpes

Vaginal yeast infections are very common up to 75 percent of women will experience this fungal infection in their lifetime, and many will have more than one, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Most vaginal yeast infections are caused by the fungus candida albicans. The naturally contains a balanced mix of yeast, which includes candida, and bacteria. But an overgrowth of candida or penetration of the fungus into deeper vaginal cell layers can cause a yeast infection, notes the Mayo Clinic.

Symptoms of a yeast infection include:

  • A burning sensation, particularly during intercourse or urination
  • Redness and swelling of the vulva
  • Thick, white, odorless vaginal discharge that looks like cottage cheese
  • Watery vaginal discharge

While a vaginal yeast infection isnt considered a sexually transmitted infection and is not contagious, there is an increased risk of getting a vaginal yeast infection when you first start having regular sex. Sexual contact can sometimes cause a yeast infection, if you have a bad reaction to another persons natural genital yeast and bacteria, according to Planned Parenthood. Infections may also be linked to oral sex, notes the Mayo Clinic.

Antibiotics, pregnancy, diabetes, an impaired immune system, certain oral contraceptives, and hormone therapy can also cause an overgrowth of fungus, which can lead to a yeast infection.

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Articles On Genital Herpes And Your Sex Life

You must tell your partner you have genital herpes. If you pick the right time and say it the right way, there’s a good chance things will work out OK.

Think about how you want your partner to take the news. Do you want it to seem like a huge problem? Of course not, so don’t present it that way. If you say, “I have some awful news for you,” your partner will likely take it as awful news. Instead, be casual, direct, and unemotional.

Also avoid suggesting how they should react, especially in the negative. If you say, “You’re going to freak out when you hear this,” or “Don’t freak out, but…,” you are setting your partner up to panic either way.

Simply say you have genital herpes, and ask if they know what that means. Be prepared to present the facts.

How Is Genital Herpes Spread

5 Facts you Never Knew about enital Herpes
  • Saliva from a partner with an oral herpes infection
  • Genital fluids from a partner with a genital herpes infection
  • Skin in the oral area of a partner with oral herpes or
  • Skin in the genital area of a partner with genital herpes.

You also can get genital herpes from a sex partner who does not have a visible sore or is unaware of their infection. It is also possible to get genital herpes if you receive oral sex from a partner with oral herpes.

You will not get herpes from toilet seats, bedding, or swimming pools. You also will not get it from touching objects, such as silverware, soap, or towels.

If you have more questions about herpes, consider discussing your concerns with a healthcare provider.

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Criminal Versus Civil Court

The law of the state you live in determines whether transmitting herpes to another person may be considered a crime or only a matter of civil law, or both.

Criminal court

In states where transmitting herpes to another person can be a crime in the right circumstances, it is punishable with imprisonment or a fine.

When someone files a criminal complaint, the police will investigate and collect evidence.

If you transmitted herpes knowingly , you can be found guilty of a misdemeanor, which is punishable with up to one year of imprisonment or a fine .

Civil court

In most states, if you knowingly pass an infection to another person, you can be sued for monetary damages under common law tort principles.

When making a decision, civil courts rely on economic, ethical, and legal principles, including previous similar cases.

How Can I Prevent Genital Herpes

If you are sexually active, you can do the following things to lower your chances of getting genital herpes:

  • Being in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who does not have herpes.
  • Using condoms the right way every time you have sex.

Be aware that not all herpes sores occur in areas that a condom can cover. Also, the skin can release the virus from areas that do not have a visible herpes sore. For these reasons, condoms may not fully protect you from getting herpes.

If your sex partner has/have genital herpes, you can lower your risk of getting it if:

  • Your partner takes an anti-herpes medicine every day. This is something your partner should discuss with his or her healthcare provider.

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Is It Illegal To Not Tell Someone You Have Herpes

No, it is not illegal to not tell someone you have herpes. However, if you are in an intimate relationship with someone, it is best to let your partner know that you have an STD. This will allow you both to take precautions to minimize the spread of the STD.

It is also unlikely that you would win a case if you sued someone for infecting you with herpes. Oral herpes is often transmitted through non-sexual contact. Many people who are infected do not even know they have the disease. Unlike many other states, Arizona does not have specific laws that criminalize the spreading of an STD. While there have beensome attempts to make it a crime, as of 2020, the action was still not criminalized.

While you are not legally required to let people know you have herpes, it may be possible that you could get in legal trouble for speeding the disease in certain circumstances. InArizona, it is amisdemeanor offense to knowingly expose someone else to a contagious disease or infection in a public place. This means that you have to knowingly expose others and it has to be in a public place. This is unlikely to be the case for herpes, where most transmissions of the disease occur in a private setting.

How To Tell Someone You Have Herpes

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You dont want a diagnosis to change your love life. Still, a huge part of coming to terms with herpes is its impact on your relationships. Maybe youve had it for some time and are dating again, or maybe youve just found out and need to break the news. Read on for useful tips to make it easier to tell someone you have herpes.

Recommended Reading: Homemade Remedies For Genital Herpes

Tips For Disclosing Via Text

Communication is hard. No matter how strong a relationship is, theres something about being vulnerable that tends to make us stressed and uncertain. If disclosing in person isnt something you think youre ready to tackle, texting is always an option.

While ideally we would be able to have these kinds of discussions in person, its understandably daunting. So know this: Texting your partners that you have herpes does not make you a coward. It does not make you less than someone who chooses to disclose in person. For many, texting is its own type of comfort zone.

“Communication is hard. No matter how strong a relationship is, theres something about being vulnerable that tends to make us stressed and uncertain.”

You might say something like this:

Hey . I really like you and the time weve spent together. Before it becomes something physical, I want to let you know that I have genital herpes . Ive learned that the stigma is more difficult than the infection itself. I understand that you may have some questions and uncertainties, and Im happy to share some resources that have helped me.

One benefit of texting is that you can give your partners links to helpful articles right when you disclose. Here are some other helpful articles you can consider sending them:

Should I Tell My Partner/s I Have Herpes

There isnt a rule as to whether you should tell a partner about having herpes. Some people dont tell their sexual partner/s and choose not to have sex during an episode and practice safer sex by using condoms/dental dams. Suppressive therapy plus safer sex can reduce risk of transmission to a partner significantly.

If youre concerned about passing on genital herpes, be upfront with your sexual partner/s before you engage in sexual activity. Communication is key at this point. If someone is genuinely interested in you before you tell them you have herpes, they should be after you tell them as well.

Given that a majority of Australians have been exposed to the herpes virus, theres a good chance they have already been exposed as well. If you have your first episode while already having a sexual partner then they have probably already been exposed but most likely will not have symptoms. And remember first episode doesnt necessarily mean it came from a current partner, you could have been exposed many years ago.

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Contact Dermatitis Can Be Mistaken For Herpes

Contact dermatitis is a skin condition that can cause an itchy rash, cracked, dry, or scaly skin, bumps and blisters, leathery patches, or swelling, burning, or tenderness, according to the Mayo Clinic. Its not an STD, but when it appears in the mouth or genital area, it may be mistaken for herpes.

However, unlike herpes, contact dermatitis can happen anywhere on the skin and is caused by direct contact with an irritant or an allergen. It is not caused by a virus.

Contact dermatitis usually occurs within days of exposure to an irritant or allergen. Common causes include poison ivy and reactions to medication, cosmetics, detergents, and jewelry. The skin rash from contact dermatitis usually goes away in two to four weeks.

The best way to prevent contact dermatitis is to identify whats causing it and avoid touching that item or substance again. Allergy testing can help identify the cause.

While contact dermatitis is generally not a serious condition, it can be itchy and uncomfortable. When the rash is present, try using cool, wet compresses or anti-itch creams to soothe it. Antihistamine pills can help reduce the itchiness. Avoid scratching the area: Doing so can make symptoms worse and could open the door to a bacterial or fungal infection. If your itching is severe, you should see your primary care provider or a dermatologist for topical steroid medication.

The Health Risks Of Genital Herpes

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Pain and discomfort are the main health effects of genital herpes, but the virus can also cause emotional and social problems for those infected. Although it cannot be cured, genital herpes can be managed with antiviral medication that may help control the recurrences. On rare occasions, genital herpes may cause serious complications such as blindness and inflammation of the brain.

Genital herpes can sometimes be passed from an infected mother to her child during pregnancy or birth. The infection can be life-threatening to the child or result in skin lesions or brain damage. Antiviral medication and a cesarean delivery can reduce the risk of infecting the child.

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How To Prevent Herpes

Since herpes is commonly spread from sexual contact with an infected person, the most effective prevention method is abstinence.

However, many people engage in sex at some point in their lives. Therefore, having safe sex is essential. You can use protection, such as dental dams or condoms. Make sure you use protection even when you don’t have symptoms or sores.

Herpes is also found on body areas not protected by condoms like labia, butt cheeks, and upper thighs. Do not engage in sexual contact during an outbreak.

A Civil Lawsuit Is Also A Possibility

Not telling a partner that you have an STD and passing that STD on could expose a person to civil liability for assault. An infected partner could sue for personal injuries alleging negligence.

Negligence is based on a number of elements, all of which must be proven.

  • Duty The question here is whether the infected person has a duty to warn their partner of their infection.
  • Breach of Duty Does the infected person breach their duty in knowingly failing to warn?
  • Direct and Proximate Causation Was the injury to the partner actually caused by the defendants failure to inform the partner? Was it foreseeable to a reasonable person that failing to inform could result in injury?
  • Damages Is there actual and compensable harm to the plaintiff?

Each of these elements must be proven by a preponderance of the evidence. The burden, while substantial, can be met. Ask your attorney for more information.

An attorney can help you understand your duty to warn and what may happen if you knowingly fail to do so. Likewise, if you are a victim and believe that a partner knowingly failed to warn, you may have questions. Bring your questions to a trusted attorney.

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Give Your Partner Time To Think

Some people need time to process whether or not they are comfortable getting involved with someone who has an STI. I once dated someone who disappeared after I told him over drinks that I had genital herpes. He resurfaced after a week to ask me out for dinner, and when I teased him about his vanishing act over artisanal grilled cheeses, he admitted that hed needed time to do his research.

Having someone vanish while they make up their mind may be irritating and nerve-wracking, but it isnt necessarily a bad thing. Some folks need space to noodle through what an STI would mean for their lives if they were to contract one. People with compromised immune systems may need to speak to their doctor. If theyre a good person, theyll pop back up eventually to move forward or let you down nicely.

That being said, occasionally youll stumble across someone who Googles transmission statistics while youre in the bathroom and is good to go as soon as you get back to the restaurant table. Those ones are my favorites.

Offer To Provide More Information On The Virus

How Contagious is Herpes?

Despite what some people with genital herpes think, its unlikely for a partner to reject you outright as a sexual or romantic prospect after learning that you have herpes.

Its far more likely, however, that they will have questions. Most people arent well informed on how herpes works and how it can affect them. They may not be aware of how herpes relates to sexual activity, or how traditional contraceptives like condoms arent always effective.

If your partner is curious about the virus, it is worthwhile to share some information about how often you experience outbreaks. If you have asymptomatic herpes, you can even let your partner know that you dont get the visual lesions that other people with HSV-2 might.

Do you take medication to treat your herpes? If your partner asks, let them know. Sometimes, a little transparency and comfort is all your partner is looking for, and a quick, honest answer to a curious question can help make the mood more transparent and comfortable.

With this said, there are some answers you might wish to avoid.

You are under no obligation to tell your partner how you contracted the virus. If they ask, feel free to gently let them know that its a private matter if youd prefer to keep the finer details to yourself.

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What Should You Discuss About Herpes

Talk about when it is safe to have sex. “Some important information to share would be whether or not you have frequent outbreaks, which is the highest risk time for transmission,” Dr. Baldwin said. Avoid sexual activity during a symptom outbreak, or if you have pain or tingling in the areas you get lesions since that can be a warning sign of an outbreak.

You should also tell your partner if you are on any antiviral medications. Taken daily, drugs like acyclovir and valacyclovir , can significantly reduce the risk of herpes transmissionbut not 100%. You should use condoms even while taking these drugs, but condoms cannot fully prevent the virus from spreading because the virus can spread on genital areas not covered by a condom.

As long as you’re honest and safe, herpes shouldn’t kill a budding relationship. “From my point of view, I don’t think it’s a deal-breaker,” Warren said.

Sex Question: Do I Have To Tell My Partner If I Have Oral Herpes But No Outbreaks

Dear Dr. H,

*My college womens clinic is extremely thorough, so my standard exams have included testing for herpes, which I understand isnt always the case. I came up positive for antibodies against oral herpes infection . However, I dont remember ever having a cold sore so I assume I was infected with oral herpes as a child. Since I dont have breakouts, what responsibility do I have in dating? I believe in being tested before sex and will definitely share my results then, but do I have a duty to avoid kissing? It seems like there is such a small chance of me passing on what is already a very common virus that telling would ruin my dating. *

Read on for Dr. Hilda Hutchersons response.

A. The HSV-1 that appeared in your blood test most likely represents the common cold sore. And what you describe isnt unusual: Most adults have been exposed to oral herpes and many of us do not remember having a cold sore. Oral-to-genital transmission in the absence of an outbreak is rare, so you dont need to share this bit of news with your future partners. Of course, like everyone else, you should never kiss or perform oral sex on someone if you do have signs of a cold sore. It should also be noted that many people infected with genital herpes have never had a single visible blister or havent recognized an outbreak. Always, always err on the safe side and use a condom when having intercourse. For more information, contact the National Herpes Hotline.

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