Monday, September 19, 2022

What If My Partner Has Herpes

How Does Genital Herpes Affect Pregnancy

Protecting Against Herpes

Genital herpes doesnt affect fertility or your ability to conceive. Pregnant women with a diagnosis of herpes genitalis are recommended to start a daily antiviral at 36 weeks of pregnancy to prevent outbreaks during time of delivery. If you have an active infection at the time of childbirth, you can pass the herpes virus to your baby. Neonatal herpes puts a baby at risk for blindness, brain damage, skin infections and death. Your healthcare provider will perform a cesarean section to lower this risk.

What To Say When Your Partner Tells You They Got Herpes From You

Generally, our first outbreak is so bad and were in so much pain that we think to ourselves that wed never want to give our partner herpes. I know this was how I felt. I was like, Id never ever want to put someone through the physical pain or the emotional pain I just went through. I can remember telling my doctor that I was never going to date again or have sex for that matter. I felt like I was going to just shrivel up and collect cobwebs.

I know this sounds familiar. Obviously, I got past this cobweb part and put myself out there, dated, and dated some more and got married. And trust me, you will also.

When it comes to dating and having sex you have two options. To tell your partner you have herpes or not tell them. Clearly, we know what the right and the ethical decision are, but its not always that easy. The stigma can put so much fear in our heads that we just freeze and forget to mention that we have herpes or just decide that what our partner doesnt know wont hurt them. My personal opinion and where I draw a hard line is it is important to disclose for the reasons being that your partner is always at risk of getting herpes and at the end of the day its just the right thing to do. I talk about not disclosing here and here if you want to read more.

So back to what to do if you give your partner herpes. I want to break it down into 3 sections if youve disclosed, if youve not disclosed and you didnt know.

If youve disclosed:

If youve not disclosed:

What Is The Risk Of Transmission Between Recurrences

Studies have shown that virus may sometimes be found on an infected area, even when there are no visible symptoms. This is called asymptomatic shedding. If enough virus is present when direct skin contact takes place, a partner may become infected.

The fewer recurrences a person has, the less chance there is of asymptomatic shedding.

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How Will A Partner React

Some may overreact. Some wont bat an eye. Since many people have genital herpes or have heard about it, many people wont be shocked or surprised. From the stories that weve heard at the Herpes Resource Center, most people will react well, and will appreciate your honesty and respect for the relationship and their wellbeing. While a negative reaction is possible, this doesnt necessarily mean a bad ending. If that person values you as an individual and is interested in a relationship, something as minor as herpes shouldnt stand in the way. If it does, then that person obviously wasnt a good fit in the first place.

Whatever happens, try to be flexible. Give your partner time to respond, think about what youve said and absorb the information. Remember when you first found out? It took you time to adjust, too.

You dont have to be overly concerned about protecting a partners feelings. And, you may want to reconsider a relationship where you have to do all the emotional work. A safer sex discussion might help you find out if this partner is a good candidate for your love and attention.

A few people are going to react negatively. It wont matter what you say or how you say it. Remember, these people are the exception not the rule. If a partner decides not to pursue a relationship with you because you have herpes, it is best to know this now. There are many people who will be attracted to you for who you arewith or without herpes.

Can I Give Herpes To My Children

Help! Is this herpes? Blister outbreak

No this will not happen. Parents do not need to worry about passing on their genital herpes to children because it is caught through direct skin contact with the affected place when symptoms are present and not from hands or objects. Even sharing a bath with small children is not a problem because herpes simplex virus is not transmitted in water.

Parents do not pass on genital herpes to their children through the normal activities of family life. Do not allow a fear of transmission to get in the way of ordinary family touching, hugging, sharing, etc.

Beds: herpes simplex virus is never transmitted on sheets.

Is herpes on my laundry? No it dies too fast. You can wash clothes together in the same machine, even when a person has a recurrence.

Bathing or showering together will not transmit herpes simplex virus the same is true for Jacuzzis and swimming pools. A child brushing against your upper thighs or abdomen while you have a recurrence wont catch the virus.

Even if you have used the toilet or you have touched the genital area and forgotten to wash your hands, this is not a problem. This virus is fragile and dies when it leaves living cells.

Washing with ordinary soap and water is clean enough theres no need to use any special hand or toilet seat sanitisers.

Children do all sorts of odd things that you cant anticipate, but even if they put your worn knickers on their head they are not going to contract the herpes virus relax and laugh with them.

Read Also: Can I Breastfeed If I Have Herpes

I Was Treated For Chlamydia When Can I Have Sex Again

You should not have sex again until you and your sex partner have completed treatment. If your doctor prescribes a single dose of medication, you should wait seven days after taking the medicine before having sex. If your doctor prescribes a medicine for you to take for seven days, you should wait until you have taken all of the doses before having sex.

Is It Okay To Break Up With Someone Because They Have Herpes

Yes, of course it is. Its okay to break up with someone for any reason. You can break up with someone because their mother is awful or because of the weird way they eat ice cream or because they have different job and family aspirations than you. Youve got free will here.

Consider that you might be walking away from a relationship thats worth the added complication of herpes. People are not defined by their sexually transmitted infections and neither are relationships. If what you have with that person is something special, then letting herpes end it is something youll regret.

The reason: its just so incredibly possible to be dating, or living with, or married to someone who has herpes. For the vast majority of the days in your lives, herpes will be a non-issue.

Dont run scared because of the stigma of herpes.

Chances are, attitudes about herpes will change in the coming decades. As a kid, I remember reading in the Bible about the way lepers were treated and thinking how foolish it was that these people were marginalized because they were believed to be unclean and contagious. Are the conditions we stigmatize today much different?

If you do decide to go separate ways because of herpes, my suggestion is to be as respectful as possible.

What does that mean? Dont ghost her. You think shes never seen a guy drop off the planet before after she very responsibly told you this incredibly intimate situation? Be one of the good guys, talk to her.

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Experts Say Male Circumcision Can Help

According to research published in the New England Journal of Medicine , heterosexual men who undergo medical circumcision can significantly reduce their risk of herpes simplex virus type 2 infection.

In the study, male volunteers who received immediate circumcision were about three percent less likely to become infected with HSV-2 compared to those in the control group.

Talking To Your Partner

How to Tell Your Partner You Have an STD | Health

Talking to your partner about your herpes condition helps to develop trust, improves the relationship, and makes regular use of condoms more likely.

When you talk to your partner, youâll find out if theyâre one of the people who understand the risk of getting herpes and are OK with it or if theyâre in the group of people who want the most protection possible.

You should ask your partner to get tested for herpes. Most people have never been tested for herpes because this isnât a routinely ordered test even if a âfull STD panelâ is requested.

A type-specific herpes test is necessary. If your partner is positive for the same virus type, you wonât need to use protection.

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Herpes Diagnosis In A Newborn Baby

Diagnosing herpes in children is complicated. Children arenât screened for the infection. In other words, only symptoms should alert the parent that all is not okay. It should prompt a diagnosis that could be done with a swab sample. Nevertheless, a complicated herpes infection calls for specific tests like a lumbar puncture.

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How Does Genital Herpes Spread

Herpes can be spread when an infected person has lesions blisters and open sores on their body or when you do not have any symptoms. Taking antiviral medicine can help you reduce the risk of spreading genital herpes to your sexual partners. You can also:

  • Inform your sexual partner that you have genital herpes.
  • Use a condom every time you have sex.
  • Refrain from having sex when you have symptoms.
  • Abstain from performing oral sex if you have blisters or open sores around your mouth.

Read Also: How To Relieve Itching From Herpes

What It Means For Partners

Your partner has genital herpes. Your support is very important in helping you and your partner to understand what this means. When your partner goes back to the doctor, you may wish to go too, so that you can find out more about the herpes infection. In the meantime, here are answers to some questions you may have.

Genital Herpes Treatment In Pregnancy

Its looks like Herpes

You may be offered antiviral treatment:

  • to treat outbreaks in pregnancy
  • from 36 weeks to reduce the chance of an outbreak during birth
  • from diagnosis until the birth if you first get herpes after 28 weeks of pregnancy

Many women with genital herpes have a vaginal delivery. You may be offered a caesarean, depending on your circumstances.

Read Also: How To Meet Other People With Herpes

My Partner Just Told Me They Have Herpes I Dont Now What

ByAnna C.|June 30, 2014, noon

Pictured above: From

Has your new partner just informed you that he or she has herpes? People have many reactions when hearing this kind of news and, depending on how informed you are about herpes, your reaction might be tinged with panic or fear. If thats your instinct, try to keep those feelings in check: Your partner might be feeling very vulnerable, so its best not to react with shunning or shaming.

More than 80 percent of people with genital herpes are unaware of their infections.

Herpes is more widespread than most of us realize. It can be caused by one of two strains of the herpes simplex virus: HSV-1 or HSV-2. While HSV-1 is more commonly associated with cold sores and HSV-2 is more commonly associated with genital herpes, either virus can infect the genital area. One estimate states that 1 out of 5 American females and 1 out of 9 American males between 14 to 49 years of age have a genital HSV-2 infection.

Now that you know your partner has herpes, you might have some questions. How easy is it to transmit genital herpes from one partner to another? What can you do to minimize your chances of catching the virus? And, while it is certainly stigmatized in our culture, is herpes something to fear?

has not hindered my love life, inhibited my ambition, or limited my friendships .

An anonymous writer shared these inspiring words:

How Can I Reduce My Risk Of Getting Genital Herpes

If you are sexually active, you can do the following things to lower your chances of getting genital herpes:

  • Be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who is not infected with an STD
  • Using latex condoms the right way every time you have sex.

Be aware that not all herpes sores occur in areas that are covered by a latex condom. Also, herpes virus can be released from areas of the skin that do not have a visible herpes sore. For these reasons, condoms may not fully protect you from getting herpes.

If you are in a relationship with a person known to have genital herpes, you can lower your risk of getting genital herpes if:

  • Your partner takes an anti-herpes medication every day. This is something your partner should discuss with his or her doctor.

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If You Were Infected During Oral Sex

If you are someone who acquired genital herpes during oral sex, it’s a good idea to talk to your partner about what happened. Think about educating them, rather than engaging in blame.

It’s unlikely that they were trying to intentionally transmit an STI. Unfortunately, a lot of people with cold sores are unaware of the risk of transmitting herpes during oral sex.

Fortunately, this risk can be greatly reduced by using appropriate barriers or suppressive treatments.

Get Informed About Genital Herpes

The Truth About Herpes!

Educate yourself about genital herpes. You’ll find out that it’s not as serious as it may seem, and that couples can and do have wonderful, sexually fulfilling relationships, even if one partner has genital herpes.

Sometimes, people in long-term relationships suspect that their partner has been cheating when they are diagnosed. That’s not necessarily true — your partner could have been infected years or decades before you met.

Also, consider the possibility that you gave your partner herpes. Millions of people live with genital herpes without having a clue that they’re infected. In fact, health experts estimate that 90% of those who are infected in the United States don’t know it. A herpes infection doesn’t always cause obvious sores on the genitals. In many cases, it causes no noticeable symptoms at all. The CDC says that testing sex partners of people with herpes might be useful even if they have no symptoms. If you are pregnant and think that you or your partner have herpes, talk to your doctor about testing. Herpes infections can be life-threatening in babies.

SOURCES: Centers for Disease Control. Fleming, et al. The New England Journal of Medicine, Oct. 16, 1997. The American Social Health Association’s National Herpes Resource Center. Warren, T. and Warren, R. The Updated Herpes Handbook. Portland Press, 2002.

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High Blood Pressure Or High Cholesterol: Can I Donate

High Blood PressureAs long as your blood pressure is 180/100 or below at the time of donation and you are feeling well, you can donate. Medications for high blood pressure do not disqualify you from donating.

High CholesterolHigh cholesterol levels do not disqualify you from donating. You can also donate if take medication to control your cholesterol.

Oklahoma Blood Institute screens for both of these and notifies donors of their results.

How Can You Avoid Genital Herpes

Most women get genital herpes through sexual contactwith a person who has herpes sores. You can get thevirus without having sex. To avoid infection:

  • Avoid skin-to-skin and sexual contact.
  • Have safer sex:
  • Reduce the number of sexual partners.
  • Condoms, when used correctly, can reduce therisk of getting genital herpes. Each time you have sexuse a condom :
  • Before vaginal sex
  • Before oral sex
  • Have sex with only one partner who does not have sex with others and does not have herpes.
  • Know that other forms of birth control do not protect against herpes infection.
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    What Complications Are Connected With An Untreated Genital Herpes Infection

    Just as there are health risks associated with untreated chlamydia in men and women, there are also risks connected with untreated herpesâeven in asymptomatic patients. Not only does the infection increase your likelihood of contracting and transmitting other STDs, but it can also lead to:

    • Difficulty urinating, due to inflammation of the urethra

    Genital Herpes And Pregnancy

    Help! Is this herpes? Blister outbreak

    It is important to avoid contracting herpes during pregnancy. A first episode during pregnancy can create a greater risk of transmission to a newborn.

    Fortunately, it is rare for women with genital herpes to infect their babies. If you know that you have genital herpes before becoming pregnant, your physician will monitor your condition throughout your pregnancy. If you have an active outbreak at the time of delivery, a C-section may be recommended. Depending on individual diagnosis, though, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists endorses suppressive therapy to reduce the frequency of C-section.

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    How Do You Get Tested For Genital Herpes

    Many doctors will begin treatment based only on the appearance of the sores if the sores seem typical of herpes. Doctors may also take a swab of the sore and send the swab to the laboratory to see if the virus is present. A number of types of tests may be ordered to establish the diagnosis, including:

    • a culture of the virus
    • polymerase chain reaction to demonstrate the genetic material of the virus and
    • tests using antibodies to the genital herpes virus to demonstrate the presence of the virus in clinical specimens.

    These types of tests generally require at least a few days for results to be obtained. In some cases, blood tests to confirm the presence of an immune response to the herpes virus may be ordered.

  • For preventing later genital herpes outbreaks, people with recurring infections also may benefit from antiviral medications. Treatment is started when the recurrence first begins and continues for five days.
  • For continuous prevention, individuals who have frequent outbreaks can control the outbreaks by taking medication every day. Acyclovir, famciclovir, and valacyclovir are all used to treat recurrent disease. This is known as suppressive therapy. Suppressive therapy has been shown to decrease the frequency of genital herpes recurrences in those who have frequent recurrences, and many individuals taking this treatment report no symptomatic outbreaks.
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