What Should I Do If My Partner Has Herpes
If your partner tells you that they have herpes, itâs important to approach the conversation in a calm and understanding manner. Having herpes doesnât mean that theyâre bad or did something wrongâit simply means that they contracted an extremely common virus that can easily go undetected.
The first thing you should do once youâve talked to your partner is to schedule an appointment for a herpes test. Even if you arenât experiencing any symptoms, a doctor can perform a blood test to identify HSV antibodies in your system. They may also recommend testing for other common STIs if you meet the criteria.
If you or your partner is uncomfortable with getting tested at a regular doctorâs office, many clinics that specialize in reproductive health offer low-cost and discreet testing options. You can also order our at-home tests for people with traditionally male or female reproductive systems that test for HSV-2, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis C, HIV, syphilis, and trichomoniasis.
What Happens If Herpes Is Not Treated
Herpes can be painful, but it generally does not cause serious health problems like other STDs can.
Without treatment, you might continue to have regular outbreaks, or they could only happen rarely. Some people naturally stop getting outbreaks after a while. Herpes typically does not get worse over time.
The information on this page is adapted from the CDC and Planned Parenthood.
Prioritize Your Mental Health
Being diagnosed with HSV can cause stress, anxiety, and other feelings that can sometimes be difficult to deal with. If youâve recently been diagnosed with HSV and are feeling overwhelmed, youâre not alone. It’s OK to take time to process your emotions and reach out for help if needed.
If you have medical-related concerns, your doctor may be able to ease your mind by going over treatment options and explaining the risks. You can also ask for additional resources or a reference for a mental health professional who can help you manage feelings of stress or anxiety.
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How Do I Know If I Have Genital Herpes
Most people with genital herpes have no symptoms or have very mild symptoms. Mild symptoms may go unnoticed or be mistaken for other skin conditions like a pimple or ingrown hair. Because of this, most people do not know they have a herpes infection.
Herpes sores usually appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals, rectum or mouth. This is known as having an outbreak. The blisters break and leave painful sores that may take a week or more to heal. Flu-like symptoms also may occur during the first outbreak.
People who experience an initial outbreak of herpes can have repeated outbreaks, especially if they have HSV-2. However, repeat outbreaks are usually shorter and less severe than the first outbreak. Although genital herpes is a lifelong infection, the number of outbreaks may decrease over time.
Ask a healthcare provider to examine you if:
- You notice any symptoms or
- Your partner has an STD or symptoms of an STD.
STD symptoms can include an unusual sore, a smelly genital discharge, burning when peeing, or bleeding between periods .
Dating And Safer Sex Tips If You Have Herpes
The great news about dating with herpes is that it’s almost exactly like dating without it. You can still have an active and fulfilling dating life, including romantic and sexual relationships. According to Planned Parenthood, you’ll just have to take a few extra precautions if you decide to engage in sexual activity with your crush. You don’t necessarily need to disclose your diagnosis the first time you hang out, but Planned Parenthood noted you should always be up front with your partner about your diagnosis prior to any sexual activity. It’s totally possible that they too have herpes since it’s so common!
Herpes likely won’t be a huge part of your relationships, but practicing safer sex to avoid transmitting the virus is important. Of course, no sexual activity is without risk and herpes can live on parts of your body that aren’t protected by barrier methods, but Planned Parenthood says using condoms and dental dams can help make transmission less likely. Additionally, you should not have sex during an active outbreak, as that increases the risk of spreading the virus.
This article has been updated to include the most recent and accurate information. It was originally published in April 2016.
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What Questions Should I Ask My Doctor
You may want to ask your healthcare provider:
- What is the best treatment for me?
- What happens if I dont treat a cold sore?
- What are the side effects of antiviral medications?
- How can I reduce the risk of future outbreaks?
- Whats the best way to prevent getting another STI?
- How can I protect my partner from getting genital herpes?
- Should I lookout for signs of complications?
How Does Genital Herpes Affect A Pregnant Woman And Her Baby
Neonatal herpes is one of the most serious complications of genital herpes.5,16 Healthcare providers should ask all pregnant women if they have a history of genital herpes.11 Herpes infection can be passed from mother to child during pregnancy or childbirth, or babies may be infected shortly after birth, resulting in a potentially fatal neonatal herpes infection. 17 Infants born to women who acquire genital herpes close to the time of delivery and are shedding virus at delivery are at a much higher risk for developing neonatal herpes, compared with women who have recurrent genital herpes . 16,18-20 Thus, it is important that women avoid contracting herpes during pregnancy. Women should be counseled to abstain from intercourse during the third trimester with partners known to have or suspected of having genital herpes. 5,11
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Send The Message Before You Have Sex
The conversation needs to happen before having sex and hopefully not in the heat of the moment. Alexandra Harbushka, founder of Life With Herpes and spokesperson for Meet People With Herpes, says a great way to lead with the topic is talking about both parties sexual health, and insisting that you both get tested.
Can Herpes Be Prevented Or Avoided
The best way to prevent getting herpes is to not have sex with anyone who has the virus. It can be spread even when the person who has it isnt showing any symptoms. If your partner has herpes, there is no way of knowing for sure that you wont get it.
There is no time that is completely safe to have sex and not spread herpes. If you have herpes, you must tell your sex partner. You should avoid having sex if you have any sores. Herpes can spread from one person to another very easily when sores are present.
You should use condoms every time you have sex. They can help reduce the risk of spreading herpes. But its still possible to spread or get herpes if youre using a condom.
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How Can I Reduce My Risk Of Getting Genital Herpes
If you are sexually active, you can do the following things to lower your chances of getting genital herpes:
- Be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who is not infected with an STD
- Using latex condoms the right way every time you have sex.
Be aware that not all herpes sores occur in areas that are covered by a latex condom. Also, herpes virus can be released from areas of the skin that do not have a visible herpes sore. For these reasons, condoms may not fully protect you from getting herpes.
If you are in a relationship with a person known to have genital herpes, you can lower your risk of getting genital herpes if:
- Your partner takes an anti-herpes medication every day. This is something your partner should discuss with his or her doctor.
Terramycin For Feline Herpes
In cats, Terramycin does not work against viral infections such as herpes. If the cat exhibits any symptoms of herpes, it will be treated with antiviral medications by the veterinarian. When viral infections cause secondary bacterial infections, antibiotics will be administered with the antiviral medication.
Terramycin, an ointment containing oxytetracycline and polymyxin B sulfate, is used to treat cats as an eyedropper. It is effective against gram-positive and gram-negative bacteria that cause superficial infections of the eye such as conjunctivitis, blepharitis, keratitis, and corneal ulcers. If your cat has an allergy to oxytetracycline or polymyxin, you should avoid giving him terramycin. If your cat exhibits signs of anaphylactic shock, you should consult a veterinarian as soon as possible. There were approximately 80% who survived treatment. It is best to keep Terramycin at room temperature of 59 to 77 degrees Fahrenheit. When the temperature is 59 to 86 degrees Fahrenheit for several minutes, the food will be safe to use. Conjunto conjunctivitis or other bacterial infections should disappear almost immediately after application of the ointment.
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Should I Still Take Medication Even If Im Outbreak
As mentioned above, there are medications that you can take inorder to shorten the duration and severity in which your outbreak will beactive.
If you noticed that youre not having outbreaks frequently, then it issafe to just take medication during the times that you have outbreaks.
However,if you were having frequent outbreaks, then it would be best to takemedication daily to suppress and prevent the outbreaks from happening.
A thorough discussionwith your physician will give you much needed information about the different treatment options you can take.
Is It Safe To Breastfeed If I Have Genital Herpes
Yes as long as there isnt an open lesion on your chest or breast. If you have an active outbreak while breastfeeding, its possible to spread the infection to your nipples through touch. Careful hand-washing can prevent this spread. You shouldnt nurse from a breast that has herpes sores. You can pump breast milk until the sores heal. Dont give your baby expressed breast milk if the pump comes into contact with an open sore.
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Where To Get Support
If you think you may have caught herpes, book an appointment with your local sexual health clinic, or visit your GP. The HVA provides comprehensive information about all aspects of the condition and runs a helpline offering support and advice. Ella Dawson’s website also contains information from a personal perspective, including So you’ve just been diagnosed with herpes.
Genital Herpes And Pregnancy
It is important to avoid contracting herpes during pregnancy. A first episode during pregnancy can create a greater risk of transmission to a newborn.
Fortunately, it is rare for women with genital herpes to infect their babies. If you know that you have genital herpes before becoming pregnant, your physician will monitor your condition throughout your pregnancy. If you have an active outbreak at the time of delivery, a C-section may be recommended. Depending on individual diagnosis, though, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists endorses suppressive therapy to reduce the frequency of C-section.
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Can Genital Herpes Be Prevented
The only way to prevent genital herpes and other STDs is to not have sex . If someone decides to have sex, using a latex condom every time can prevent most STDs.
But condoms can’t always prevent the spread of genital herpes. This is because the virus may be in the skin near the genitals .
People also can lower their risk of getting an STD by:
- getting tested with any new partners before having sex
- only having sex with one partner
Anyone who is sexually active should get tested for STDs every year . To find a testing site, visit the CDC’s National HIV and STD Testing Resources.
What I Told My Boyfriend About Living With Herpes
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years and I know he wants to marry me. We have a very satisfying sex life. We use condoms for sex and practice abstinence whenever I have any shadow of a doubt. I have outbreaks a few times a year now, not very many. I abstain for seven to 10 days. I like to give it a few extra days to be on the safe side.
We do go without condoms at times. That’s our choice. He’s aware of the risks and he’s had no complaints to date. I told him from the very beginning what it was, how I wanted to protect him, when we couldn’t have sex, what kind of protection was best. Everything. I made sure to tell him that herpes as a transmissible condition, but it comes and goes. It’s like the turtle with its head in a shell it sticks its head out when it wants.
As told to Louise Sloan
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Can I Still Have Sex If I Have Herpes
If you have herpes, you should talk to your sex partner about their risk. Using condoms may help lower this risk but it will not get rid of the risk completely. Having sores or other symptoms of herpes can increase your risk of spreading the disease. Even if you do not have any symptoms, you can still infect your sex partners.
You may have concerns about how genital herpes will impact your health, sex life, and relationships. While herpes is not curable, it is important to know that it is manageable with medicine. Daily suppressive therapy can lower your risk of spreading the virus to others. Talk to a healthcare provider about your concerns and treatment options.
A genital herpes diagnosis may affect how you will feel about current or future sexual relationships. Knowing how to talk to sexual partners about STDs is important.
Once Youre Diagnosed Take Time Off To Assess Yourself
It should not be new to you that you may begin experiencing a wide range of emotional feelings, such as shame, loneliness, disappointment, and so forth. The most suitable thing for you to do is to invest time with yourself until you are fully prepared for conceivable rejection and then begin the dating scene.
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Learn To Recognize Warning Signs
Once you start experiencing symptoms you can transmit the virus, so paying attention to early symptoms can help reduce the risk of transmitting it to a partner.
Along with that sort-of-itchy, sort-of-painful tingling feeling that I get before the sores appear, I notice tenderness in my mouth, fatigue, a low fever, and aches in my legs.
You might only get these symptoms with the first outbreak, but they can return. Returning symptoms are usually more mild than before.
How Will My Healthcare Provider Know If I Have Genital Herpes
Your healthcare provider may diagnose genital herpes by simply looking at any sores that are present. Providers can also take a sample from the sore and test it. If sores are not present, a blood test may be used to look for HSV antibodies.
Have an honest and open talk with your healthcare provider about herpes testing and other STDs.
Please note: A herpes blood test can help determine if you have herpes infection. It cannot tell you who gave you the infection or when you got the infection.
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Learn How To Date With Herpes
Yes, you can still date, and quite successfully too. This is all about confidence, self-respect, and honesty. Once you have come to terms with the diagnosis, it will be easier to inform and reassure potential partners about it without scaring them away. Thats because, believe it or not, its your attitude and feelings about it that will come across the most.
Now heres the facts: You do have to inform your partners before intimacy happens. But it doesnt have to be as hard as it seems. There is a right way to tell someone you have herpes: Calmly, informatively, and aware. Let them know that having sex with you doesnt necessarily mean they will get it. Let them know the herpes transmission rates when using forms of protection like taking Valtrax and using condoms. Theyre surprisingly low.
Of course, if youd like to avoid having the talk, you can do that too by dating people who have herpes. Thats because there are herpes dating sites you can use, in particular Positive Singles, which you can read more about here.
Health And Social Impacts
Most people living with herpes, caused by either HSV-1 or 2, are unaware they have the infection.
When symptoms do occur however, oral herpes infection can lead to painful sores around the mouth . Genital herpes infection can cause recurring, often painful, genital sores, often referred to as genital ulcer disease.
WHO and partners published a study in March 2020 estimating that around 5% of the worlds population suffered from at least one episode of herpes-relatedgenital ulcer disease in 2016 . Most of these episodes were due to HSV-2, which can recur frequently over many years.
Recurrent symptoms of genital herpes can lead to stigma and psychological distress, and can have an important impact on quality of life and sexual relationships. However, in time, most people with herpes adjust to living with the infection.
Genital herpes is a substantial health concern worldwide beyond the potential pain and discomfort suffered by people living with the infection, the associated social consequences can have a profound effect on sexual and reproductive healthsays Dr Ian Askew, Director of the Department of Sexual and Reproductive Health and Research at WHO.
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